Highlight Reel VS Reality

In an effort to build my business up a little more, I've been adding friends on Facebook & Instagram like crazy. I try to keep up with everyone and see where they're at... making new connections, becoming friends for real with more and more people... It's not a bad thing!
But it sometimes can be hard to remember that everyone is just posting their highlight reels. That their lives aren't as perfect as I perceive them to be. That it's okay for me to be struggling, even with my passions, even with the things I love to do.... Sometimes you just go through tough times, and there's really no explanation, no rhyme or reason as to why you feel like you keep "failing." I put that in quotations because I don't actually think I, or you, are failing during these times, except to maybe be "failing forward."
I have so much faith that this Beachbody business is going to be my family's salvation, our answer to not only a healthier life but to financial freedom. I have faith that this is going to save us from living paycheck to paycheck... from always being one missed payment from having something shut off, our car payment not going through... sometimes having to choose what food we can afford to eat that week.  I "fail forward" a lot though... I'm just working on finding my little spot in the business. I want to help EVERYONE but honestly,.. I don't always relate to everyone.
I am a mom. I am a young adult. I am a massage therapist. I believe in alternative medicine. I believe in eating healthily. I like to garden. I like to workout. I like to laugh.... a lot. I love wine. ;) I totally understand being strapped for cash. I get stress.
I understand grief. I understand deep grief, the kind that doesn't leave you.
But I also have HOPE. Hope in a better life, in an easier way of life. Hope in being able to have my cake and eat it too, if you will.
I want to not worry about bills, I want to always be present in my kids' lives, I want to be able to easily eat organically and not worry about cleaning the house.... I want to be a home owner. I want Drew to be able to stay home with us. I want to take my kids on vacations with just our family.... and not worry the entire time about having enough money to go in case something happens, like a car breaking down or  pipe busting (in our future house).
I have faith & hope that these things will come, as long as I keep working, as long as I am honest about this company, as long as I keep connecting and working and pushing... it may take time, but I believe it will happen.
BUT it is discouraging sometimes when I see others WHERE I WANT TO BE, it is easy to become FRUSTRATED with myself, to think that I SHOULD be there already, that I SHOULD be further ahead than where I am. It is easy to forget that they are posting about their wins, that I'm not seeing the "behind-the-scenes" frustrations and problems and the hard work that they have already put in. It's easy to remember that they were once where I am. And that my reality was once their reality. That I can get there too, if I trust and believe in myself and this company's potential.
I know I just need to keep at it.... and eventually, I'll be there, along with my current and future coaches who join me.
It's already changed my life so much for the better... the friendships, the fitness levels, the way my body has changed, the way I feel, the hope I have now that I never had before.... It can only keep getting better.
And one day, those highlight reels will be mine too, and they will be most of my reality.
I can't wait.

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Stressstressstress

I have been having  a really hard time getting in control of my stress for the past few weeks. Getting a puppy really is like having a small child... and on top of a high needs toddler and a baby... I have really been losing my shit.
I do love Koda... he is such a good dog. But he has definitely made life a lot more hectic and stressful than I anticipated... of course, it's not really his fault, he is just a puppy, but having to constantly be on top of Kieran to QUIT HITTING, STOP YELLING IN HIS FACE, DON'T TAKE HIS TOYS, STAY OUT OF THE CAGE, DON'T BUG HIM WHILE HE'S EATING, and (my favorite... not) QUIT RUNNING IN CIRCLES GETTING HIM WORKED UP UNTIL HE TRIES TO BITE.  Or taking my newly walking baby out of the kitchen over and over and over because he keeps trying to take a bath in the puppy's water bowl.... I feel like I am drowning in stress.
I know this won't last long. He is already learning our house rules and he is so good.
I'm trying to learn to breathe... I am trying so hard to quit screaming at my kids. But the more I try to stay calm, the more Kieran pushes and pushes and tests my limits, my boundaries, seeing what he can get away with... just FLAT OUT IGNORING ME or BEING OPENLY DEFIANT... and then I find myself screaming and doling out time outs and dragging him over to the step to sit over and over and over.
I lay awake at night, wanting to cry about how I yelled at my sweet little boy. My bright, curious, sunshine of a boy. My little man, who is just figuring this world out, who gets so lost in himself that sometimes, after the fact, I wonder if he really was being defiant, like I thought, or if he was just too wrapped up in his own thoughts and curiosity that I wasn't even penetrating the thin veil I sometimes think lays between us.  If maybe he wasn't ignoring an order, if maybe he didn't comprehend, if maybe the need to find out what would happen or how something works or to just complete the action that my words barely scratched the surface of his world.
Is he going to grow up to resent me? Am I dimming his light? Am I being too harsh? Am I expecting too much, am I not doing enough, does he need more help, do I need to back off? When I smacked his hand away from the outlet, did the sting last longer in his heart... how do I stress that some things are dangerous, that they will hurt him, possibly badly? How do I teach him to be a kind, gentle, respectful young man when I feel like all I do is scream and threaten and discipline? How do other moms stay so calm.. What am I doing wrong?
On Sunday morning, we have an appointment to fill out paperwork with a specialist. She is going to determine whether or not Kieran falls on the autism spectrum. I don't know what I think. I don't know what I feel. I am overwhelmed. I am crying a lot.
I've started to pray again.
I've been taking a lot of my anger and frustration out in my workouts. It's the only time I feel calm.. after I've laid it all out in my workout. I just wish the feeling would last.
The past few days his tantrums have been... unbelievable. I think he scared his speech therapist. I never know how best to calm him down. I feel so helpless. If I could take all of his heartache, his frustration, his fear, his ball of emotions that make him UPSET....I would.
But when he SHINES.... oh my word.
This boy steals my heart more everyday.
I am going to get through this rough patch. We are all going to get through this and when we do, it is going to be wonderful. I am going to sweat it out. I am going to learn to stay calm while he storms. I am going to swallow my fear and make him feel safe. I am going to go to sleep tonight knowing I did everything I could to help him.
And soon, this happy face will be happy MOST OF THE TIME again.

Flex Friday & Fighting Back

FLEX FRIDAY!

So I have been back at my 21 Day Fix Extreme! I am still struggling with the nutrition-- on top of it mostly BUT I have been falling off the wagon on and off and I have been feeling myself getting discouraged over and over and over. 

There's always that voice in the back of my head that doubts me, that brings me down, that tells me it's okay to SKIP a workout or INDULGE in that greasy pizza. 

Sometimes I listen to it. 

BUT MOST OF THE TIME I DON'T! And I am proud to say that I can see results from my MOST OF THE TIMES more than I see what I SOMETIMES do. I have NEVER had my arms look like this! I am always so focused on legs & abs that my arms are forgotten. I know that I am STRONG and to be able to SEE that strength in these pictures makes my heart happy....

Now, my abs may have gone a little to the wayside with some of my binges (I am going to be in control of those by the end of this year, I swear it! I am more focused & determined every day. Food will NOT control me ANYMORE. It will NOT!),  but I am going to be whipping those back to their former glory both in my workouts and in the kitchen this month. 

I know that this is going to be hard for me. I have never really been in complete control when it comes to food.... I either have gone overboard, barely surviving with what I ate and running off whatever I did eat... and then eventually CRASHING and BINGING on 4 bowls of ice cream, cereal, sandwiches, an entire pizza, an entire pack of cookie dough and then crying myself to sleep that night because I felt like a disgusting failure and gross human being. 

NO MORE. 

It has been a long time now since I have DEPRIVED myself of food (since finding out I was pregnant with my first son...). I swore I would never teach my kids those unhealthy habits.

So I make sure I eat good foods in front of them.

But bedtime, naptime, sneaking off in the kitchen alone time.... I feel like there is a monster living inside of me and I can't get enough, I eat until I am so full I can barely think. Oblivion. 

I will be stronger than that  monster soon, 

I am stronger everyday. 

And my babies won't ever meet this monster--- if I can't be stronger than him for me--- I can for them. 

He best be scared of those guns ^ ;) . <3 

Cause these two studs are making me stronger every single day. 

21 Day Fix Extreme... Trial and Error and Try Again

I have recently been attempting the 21 Day Fix Extreme.
I say 'attempting' because I haven't been sticking to the meal plan... at all. I haven't made it through one full day in the past 3 weeks, which is all the program is supposed to last in the first place!
I have been doing the workouts fine... they are comparable to Insanity Max:30, although I find Max:30 slightly more challenging, maybe because I need to up my weights for 21DFX? I'm not sure.

I have skipped a few days of working out here and there though.
I still have not been running, and I have been getting that itch to go again.
I can feel the weight sitting in my gut, dragging me down, making my soul feel heavy and my body ache.
I don't want to feel that way anymore, I want to feel light and energetic.
I want to have my float back.

So I am recommitting to this program.
I know that the meal plan and portion control is IMPORTANT if I want any actual results!
I am tired of falling off the wagon and I am tired of being complacent in my results (and not getting any results when I know I am working my muscles still!)

I am prepping my head this week, prepping my fridge, and sticking to it 100% for the entirety of this program.
I am ready to succeed!
If you want to join me, fill out the application below:
https://jaimeefreyermuth.wufoo.com/forms/m6krcnr03jze1f/

#beachbodycoach #21dayfixextreme #challengegroup #doitforYOU

When I was first learning about ways to eat clean, I was very overwhelmed.
I thought that I was going to be SO RESTRICTED and spend A TON OF MONEY!
I thought that there were TOO MANY RULES and that the food would get BORING!
I KNEW I needed to make a change for the sake of my health, but could I do it at the expense of my wallet and taste buds? No. I honestly wasn't willing to do that. But I wasn't willing to stay in my unhealthy eating rut, either.
So I read more and more and more.
I searched Pinterest for HOURS to find delicious CLEAN recipes.
I checked out TONS of grocery stores and online health food shops.
And here is what I found: It is TOTALLY possible to eat clean AND save money AND not sacrifice an inch of flavor!
Here is one of my FAVORITE clean eating recipes:
1 whole Chicken Breast, Cut into strips
2 TBS Honey
3 TBS Lemon Juice
3 TBS Tabasco Sauce
2 Bell Peppers, sliced
1 Onion, sliced
1 tsp Extra Virgin Olive Oil


Directions:
Mix Honey, Lemon Juice, and Tabasco Sauce and pour over chicken strips, let marinate. The longer, the better.
Sautee Bell Peppers and Onion in olive oil over medium heat until onions begin to turn translucent.
Add chicken and cook over medium-high heat  until cooked through.
Serve over a bed of Spinach and sliced Tomatoes, Berries, Hard-Boiled Eggs, and Cucumbers-- the Chicken and peppers are juicy enough that no dressing is required! :)

Working Out While Breastfeeding!

One of the biggest concerns I get when talking to new mothers about starting to work out again is that their milk supply might dry up! Now, I am not a lactation consultant** so I can only tell you the things I have learned and the experiences I have had as a fit mother of two extremely healthy little boys. 

First of all, I want to tell you that breastfeeding  does not mean that you can't work out. It doesn't even mean that you can't work out HARD. Both of my sons were 100% exclusively breastfed, but I am really going to talk about my experience with my younger son, because I didn't work out as hard when Kieran was a new baby, because I thought it would hurt my supply! 

Silas is 7 months old. In the past month, I have slowly been introducing a few solids, but not everyday, and he only eats probably 5-10 bites of whatever it is that I am feeding him. So he is still relying solely on breastmilk to keep him alive.

I began training for the Pittsburgh Marathon about 2 weeks after Silas was born. (Much sooner than they recommend, but I was restless and couldn't wait to get back to it. You should listen to your body and talk to your doctor after childbirth about beginning to exercise!) Then, when he was 4 months old, and I was frustrated with the tiny bits of progress I was seeing with both my body and also with my endurance during my runs, I ordered the program Insanity Max:30. 

If you have never done any of the Insanity programs, let me tell you, this was probably the hardest workout I had EVER done in my life. I had never worked that hard, sweated so much, or pushed so much in my life. 

I also cleaned up my diet by leaps and bounds. Instead of heavy carbs and junk food and cakes and ice cream, I began eating whole grains, veggies, lean meats, and fruit and the occasional bit of dark chocolate (okay, maybe more than occasional!). And I also started to drink Shakeology, so I was sure I was getting at least one dose of dense nutrition per day, so that I knew my baby was too.

Through ALL of this, I continued to breastfeed my beautiful baby boy. And I think that this picture speaks for itself, that he was getting PLENTY to eat ;) :

If I ever do notice a dip in my supply, I know that I just need to drink more water. Maybe eat a bigger meal at my next mealtime (every 2-3 hours for me!). But I stay very healthy by being fit and eating healthy meals and staying very hydrated. So my supply has never suffered, and there's a good chance that yours won't either, so long as you are drinking enough water and eating GOOD foods. 

But for now, I think that my 23 lbs 7 month old speaks volumes ;). 

I hope this helps!

#fitmom #healthymom #breastfeeding