Flex Friday & Fighting Back

FLEX FRIDAY!

So I have been back at my 21 Day Fix Extreme! I am still struggling with the nutrition-- on top of it mostly BUT I have been falling off the wagon on and off and I have been feeling myself getting discouraged over and over and over. 

There's always that voice in the back of my head that doubts me, that brings me down, that tells me it's okay to SKIP a workout or INDULGE in that greasy pizza. 

Sometimes I listen to it. 

BUT MOST OF THE TIME I DON'T! And I am proud to say that I can see results from my MOST OF THE TIMES more than I see what I SOMETIMES do. I have NEVER had my arms look like this! I am always so focused on legs & abs that my arms are forgotten. I know that I am STRONG and to be able to SEE that strength in these pictures makes my heart happy....

Now, my abs may have gone a little to the wayside with some of my binges (I am going to be in control of those by the end of this year, I swear it! I am more focused & determined every day. Food will NOT control me ANYMORE. It will NOT!),  but I am going to be whipping those back to their former glory both in my workouts and in the kitchen this month. 

I know that this is going to be hard for me. I have never really been in complete control when it comes to food.... I either have gone overboard, barely surviving with what I ate and running off whatever I did eat... and then eventually CRASHING and BINGING on 4 bowls of ice cream, cereal, sandwiches, an entire pizza, an entire pack of cookie dough and then crying myself to sleep that night because I felt like a disgusting failure and gross human being. 

NO MORE. 

It has been a long time now since I have DEPRIVED myself of food (since finding out I was pregnant with my first son...). I swore I would never teach my kids those unhealthy habits.

So I make sure I eat good foods in front of them.

But bedtime, naptime, sneaking off in the kitchen alone time.... I feel like there is a monster living inside of me and I can't get enough, I eat until I am so full I can barely think. Oblivion. 

I will be stronger than that  monster soon, 

I am stronger everyday. 

And my babies won't ever meet this monster--- if I can't be stronger than him for me--- I can for them. 

He best be scared of those guns ^ ;) . <3 

Cause these two studs are making me stronger every single day.